Wednesday, October 8, 2008 18:13:48 GMT
By having a clear life goal, “I intend to live with as few regrets as possible,” I dwell less on the coulda woulda shouldas.
Before I make a decision, I often give it the “5-Step Regrets Litmus Test”:
- If I do this, or don’t do this, will I have any regrets?
- If so, how big and long lasting do I think those regrets will be?
- Do I expect that such regrets would be something I could end up wasting time dwelling on and feeling miserable about, pondering, “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda?”
- Can I modify the potential decision in any manner, to reduce the Regrets Factor?
- How will such a decision impact others, positively or negatively?
For more than 20 years, decision after decision in my personal life, and at work, has been put to the Regrets Litmus Test. With 20/20 hindsight, repeatedly I am thankful I took the extra moments to run my decisions through this test.
“Do I go out with a friend at the last minute, or be lazy and play TV couch potato?”
“Should I be the only team member to voice a differing perspective to the CEO?”
“Do I take the risk and step away from my fast-track career I am so passionate about (and my single income) to help my Mom after her strokes, and spend quality time with her, while I still have her?”
As a result of the Test process, to each of the above, I answered, “Yes.”
I believe that by pausing and asking these questions, I repeatedly have saved myself much wasted time wondering afterwards, “What if I had only done…” dwelling in Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Land.
Definitely, it has helped me laugh and smile, more often than not, and to live much more in the present, than in the future.
When I was 24, I planned to visit my Dad in the hospital on Saturday, because of my busy work schedule. But, he died on a Thursday.
I learned at an early age what real Regret was, and that changed my life, for the better.
(This is a belated P.S. to my “No Regrets Next Time” and “Choose to Laugh” posts, which struck a chord with a number of Trusera* folks, resulting in more smiles from me.)
*Trusera was a health-oriented social networking site, which went dark in May 2009.
